The challenge: Eat a 2-lb. burger with six slices of cheese, and an entire salad on top, sandwiched between a 2-lb. burger bun, and smothered with four serving’s worth of fries, within one hour, at Adam’s Rib Smokehouse.
The contenders:
ADAM – a 180-lb., 6’2″ hunka of burning man meat, with hands faster than Doc Holliday and an esophagus that waits for nothing. He does it all while maintaining excellent oral hygiene. Jeff’s twin brother.
Home: Salem, OR.
Stats: Can down dinner in four bites.
Lore: Once ate an entire pork tenderloin by himself at a friend’s BBQ.
AKA: The Mighty Masticator
JEFF: a 180-lb., 6’2.5″ hunka burning dude flesh, with hands so precise his rib drippings look like art. His stomach is often bigger than his eyes, and he’s got a digestive tract that can handle the hautest of cuisines as well as the hash of the developing world. Adam’s twin brother.
Home: Ames, IA (formerly of Panama)
Stats: His plate to your plate ratio is one to one half
Lore: Has taken home gold in similar burger contests
AKA: The “Loco”vore.
The Spoils: World domination, everlasting glory, the admiration of peers and wives, the awe of other diners
or
a free burger and a stomach ache.
Who will persist in the Adam’s Rib challenge? Will it be Salemite Adam, who has cut back on meat and who hasn’t had to compete with his brothers for food for at least a decade? Or will it be Jeff, who has spent the past two years living in a small mountain village in Panama, who lost some weight in the process, and who has taken down lesser eaters in the past? Will the world’s foremost expert on Competitive Eating and the Big Fat American Dream, Jason Fagone, turn up to comment on the event? Who will win this challenge, and more importantly, who will survive?
Tune in during the next two weeks to find out…
I’ll take Jeff. His BMI is slightly better than Adam’s, he’s trending downward in weight, and from these descriptions, probably has a higher pain threshold and a more elastic stomach. Victory is all but guaranteed.
I don’t know Adam, but I’ve seen Jeff in action, so my money’s on him: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sadsilver/202327243/
I really do hate to be such a prissy wet blanket, but I’m suffering from increasing revulsion with all forms of “gluttony = masculinity.”
The horrendous waste of good food in the giant burger, giant plate of ribs, acres of pie, and stacks of hot dogs contests is, at some level, really immoral. No human body can use those calories — we’re celebrating turning a huge mass of food into nothing but crap while people all over town are struggling with food security and outright hunger.
Sorry, flame away, but this is sickening, not something to celebrate.
A great point. Walker, you would LOVE Mr. Fagone’s book, which tackles all of these exact issues. As for our own two-person contest, I’m sure you will understand if I take your comment as well-intended, well-supported and insightful – as long as you know that every person is free to celebrate their family reunions as they see fit.
Rage on! Competitive eating contest haters!
As marigold said, I did this already only the burger I ate was 3lbs with 2lbs of fries and there was a time limit… I vote for me.
Walker, I have been in the habit of eating one or two meals a day and if that burger is the one meal I eat for the day it will not be “wasted”. I burn well over 2000 calories per day. You have made a mistake in assuming that it is a bad idea, because it would be a bad idea for you to try it.
“I really do hate to be such a prissy wet blanket.” than don’t make the comment.
Easy, Texas Ranger. This? This is where you take your stand for humanity? Its a stretch at best. I’m sure their are plenty of aspects of your life that in relative comparison to the most unfortunate among us seem excessive to the point of immorality by your own standard. There are atrocities happening all around us. These two guys eating a couple large hamburgers is not one. Your passion could be put to more effective use than trolling blogs.Maybe cancel your internet service and donate the money to a food locker each month.
I really do hate to be such a prissy wet blanket, but…
No you don’t! You just DID!
I don’t know you, but I’m just guessing that your day to day life isn’t without it’s non-necessities, either. Case in point: YOU’RE ON THE INTERNET CRUISING BLOGS. So before you go throwing stones…
I mean, really.
That’s funny! How interesting that Adam and his twin brother seem to living in such opposite places, Salem and Panama/Iowa.
Strangely, I’m not sure that Salem is THAT different from Iowa. I hear “great place to raise a family” thrown around a lot… Also, what’s that video on Salemites.com right now where someone says the capital smacks of Des Moines?