As I type this the last few flushes of grape stompers are trying their toes at the annual Willamette Valley Vineyards Grape Stomp down in Turner, OR.
The grape stomp is one of those Oregon activities you have to do once in your lifetime. I’ve had it on my list for quite a while, but until now I’ve always been too tired, too pregnant, or too not-in-town to participate.
This year was different. I had some grape plans to bone up on my stomping skills in preparation for this year’s event. You see, we have some liabilities as stompers to begin with. For one, I wear a size 6.5 shoe. Without webbed feet, or larger feet, I’d surely be at a disadvantage.
I’d like to say that I was listening to the theme song from Rocky to prepare, pretending to run the steps of the Philadephia Museum of Art to get my legs pumping in just the right foot-to-grape ratio. But we pretty much rolled up the hill at the last possible moment for our 11:00 flush. There were about a dozen other teams already in their barrels and one lonely barrel left in the middle of the row. I jumped in and Adam squatted down near the pipe to swab the opening and catch this juice.
This would be our big mistake — choosing this particular barrel.
I thought maybe I’d be caught up in the thrill of it, that the stompers aside me would throw my competitive bent into overdrive. But really, it was strangely meditative. I had my hands on my husband’s shoulders for support and we were working together like a machine. The grapes were soft and juice and popped easily under pressure. Within a few minutes I had stomped through them and all that was left was pulpy grape skin.
Adam noticed a tad late that the swabber has another job.
“Hey, that guy has his hands in the barrel!” he said.
Sure enough, the swabber’s role, it seems, is also to press the grapes out and usher the juice to the hole, not just catch the juice, as we had been told.
Yes, we lost, by a very large number. But at least we got to see a couple people get disqualified for not pulling their jugs awaywhen the ending whistle blew. Eat it suckers!
So, for your next grape stomp, may I propose some Strategic Tactics that do not Involve Listening to “Stomp!”
1. Arrive early and choose your barrel stratically
2. Have the person with larger feet do the stomping
3. Keep as much pulp as possible from going through your hole (the pulp gets funneled out before the juice gets weighed)
4. Don’t get yourself disqualified by doing something as stupid as not following directions
5. Don’t follow directions and have your swabber press out the juice and move it towards the hole
6. Have fun!
We certainly managed #6.
My friend Chris says this image of our neighbor’s leftover grapes looks like the world (our barrel barely had anything left in it; no joke).
Adam getting our juice weighed after the stomp. We already knew we had lost, but not going through procedure would just be sour grapes.
My feet after the stomp. It wasn’t as messy as I had anticipated. Also, wine glass for tasting wines afterwards comes with the $10 entry fee. May I suggest the Willamette Valley Vineyards Elton Estate for your next big event?
Besides all of the great times, I got this wonderful graphic from my friend Ryan Rogers, who told me that pic of me in the barrel makes me look like some kind of Award Ceremony statuette. He promptly put together a golden statuette Emily graphic. Yes, my week is made. Now, to figure out what kind of achievement the “Emily” would honor… it’s certainly not for grape stomping!
